New Research Indicates that Divorce Benefits the Father-Child Relationship
New research indicates that divorced men actually become better caregivers. As a result of men becoming single parents after divorce, they are finding that it makes them better fathers in part because they are taking control and responsibility for situations that they might have otherwise delegated their partner or waiting to be told what to do. As a result, more and more men are advocating for themselves and therefore becoming better advocates for the children; all while making room to become better fathers; which is feeding back into changing custodial norms.
In general, as divorced parents are taking a more informed and research-based approach to co-parenting; while no longer distracted by marital conflict; they are parenting with a lot more focus. Part of this could also be explained by divorce simply making many people happier individuals and therefore happier parents in the long run.
“Executive Parenting Tasks”
This also means that divorced dads are taking on what the researchers term “executive parenting tasks,” such as planning activities and meals, and no longer delegating nurturing roles to their partners, therefore getting more and more practice emotionally connecting with their kids. They provide the comfort; sing lullabies; and do everything else that a caretaker parent does; while getting more practice and therefore more adept at it. By making more and more decisions, they are growing in self-confidence and are better able to meet their children’s needs.
Marital Conflict Is The Problem
As a result, more and more scientists are arguing that the adverse effects of divorce have simply been overstated, as the differences between children of divorce and children with married parents are fairly slight. These researchers say that, instead, marital conflict is the problem and therefore divorce can actually be the solution. The research indicates that children who spend regular time with their fathers-i.e. Overnights, time splits, etc.–perform better academically and have more confidence. In general, they appear to be less susceptible to problems, in general, throughout lives. In other words, these children are just as well-adjusted as those whose parents do not get divorced.
Time To Take This Into Court
This research is incredibly important because, although states and custody laws are changing and advocating for more 50-50 split instead of reinforcing underlying stereotypes concerning male and female caregivers, still, some perfectly capable fathers are denied equal time; suggesting that some are unfairly treated in courts; where they are not seriously taken as caretakers. In reality, divorce gives many dads opportunities that they wouldn’t otherwise have when it comes to parenting, and can also often make both mothers and fathers better parents because they have more downtime to recharge due to shared parenting setups. In the same way that we as a society are trying to get away from stereotypes the boys are biologically predisposed to outperforming girls when comes to certain academic subjects such as math and science, we have to get away from the messaging that men are second grade parents. Conversely, decades of research indicate that many kids of divorce wish that they had spent more time with their dads growing up.
If you live in Florida and have any questions about divorce and custody, contact our experienced Sarasota divorce attorneys at HD Law Partners today to find out how we can help.